Beginning a Hucow life Days 1-7

All of my life I have been erotically excited by the thought of being able to produce breastmilk and breastfeed an adult. I want to be a milkmaid, a hucow, a set of tits that leak.

This will document my journey, but first, meet my tits.

Oh, and this is a fairly long look at the whats, hows, and whys of my journey, but I don’t feel you will know me or understand my without reading this all first. It’s also a logical, adult discussion with my husband about what we are doing.  Seriously, we are both adults, we are happy and we need to ensure we can have adult chats about our wants and needs.

Um, should I also say there are some downright dirty filthy parts of this story in places !

I have done a reasonable amount of mild breast bondage/nipple torture, and I would say my tits are the most erogenous part of my body.  If you want to get me excited, play with them, pull on them, suck them and the rest of my body will respond. The problem I have had in the past when role playing, is that I have not had a Dom who would push my limits – eg if I said stop, they would stop instantly.  Whilst I know stop can actually mean stop, I wanted them to ask me if I really wanted to stop, or if I could be a good girl and keep going.  No one has ever done that. No one has ever made me endure the pain/shame just a little longer, making me learn my own boundaries can be pushed. No one has forced me to go bra-less in public and pull my nipples so they are obvious to passers by.  No one has ever forced me to sit with my shirt undone, breasts and nipples just visible when the wind blows my shirt.  I just haven’t found someone to MAKE me do things I want to have done.  To me it defeats the purpose if I make myself do it, I can just cover up anytime I see someone coming….blah and boring. I want Him to hold my arms down discreetly, knowing the person walking by did indeed get an eyeful of tit because I couldn’t cover myself.  Hmmm, those are the delights I seek.

Needless to say, my Husband/Master is getting the idea, and certainly being able to tell him these things has lead him to start doing these sort of activities with me.

I don’t have children.  I have big tits, around 18D in aussie terms. Being this size, they hang down, they sag a bit. They have never lactated. But I like them.  Although it took me a long time to say that.

To me, inducing lactation is probably the strongest desire I have ever had, and have had for many, many years. I have loved the idea of working my breasts and watching tiny white drops appear on the end of my nipple.  I have wanted to have my breasts bound so hard they spontaneously leak – there is a video of a lady on the internet that epitomises my dream situation…she is bound so hard, her breast is constantly leaking/squirting and she can’t do a damn thing about it. I have wanted to feed a partner from my tits, having him latch on and gently drain me.  Is there anything more intimate than that? I want to be milked like a cow, either by hand or machine.  I want to have two holes cut in a fence on a footpath, and be forced to stand with my tits in the holes, not knowing who is going to suckle on the outside of the fence. I want to have Free Milk written on my tits, and be sitting in the park for men to drink from. Damn I want so much it seems…..

Can you see I have two different frames of thoughts here…..I do have the dirty side of me, and want to be used and abused for my milk.  But, I also long to have Him suckle gently at my breast at night, and waking up during the night feeding from me. Warm milk drinks in bed on the weekends… I long for the intimate and in-depth bond that lactation will bring us. Please don’t think I am confused, this journey will allow us to have the best of both worlds.  The gentleness of curling up in bed or on the couch for feedings, but the chance to use me as a milkmaid too for sexual purposes.

So onto a serious discussion we had about lactation.  Due to my long term interest, I have researched for years about lactation and how it works etc. I also have a medical background, so I am fairly well versed in how it works. We are not using drugs to simulate a pregnancy, I don’t like drugs of any kind.  We are using only pumping and natural herbs to induce.  We talked openly about the commitment, the dedication and the ongoing requirements of lactation. It is not just the time and effort taking to bring milk in, but it something that has further requirements, like needing to be drained or express regularly, leaking breasts and the need to wear nursing pads. It’s the fact that my breasts will never be the same.  It is likely the nipple will stay enlarged, the aereola will stay darkened, they may sag a bit more. The fact that once they have produced milk, they can do so years later, and may suddenly start lactation when we didn’t expect it. The fact that I will be likely suffering some engorgement and possible pain sometimes, the fact that my let-down reflex may kick in when I see Him in public. My breasts will be fuller and larger.  Are we both ready for that? Hell yes.  I am looking forward to experiencing every single one of those things.  I want them to hurt, I want to have to express, I want to look down and see them fat and heavy with milk. I want to be embarrassed by wet spots on my shirt.  I want to be stuck to a schedule of draining them.  I want to be reliant on Him to allow me to drain myself when He is absent.  I want to be reliant on Him to suckle me when He wishes, and if He doesn’t wish, I have to suffer with full udders until He says. Yes. We both want this.

MINDSET:

May I also just mention that inducing lactation is hugely made up of the mental attitude towards bringing milk in?  You have to think like a woman who is breastfeeding. You have to act like a woman who is breastfeeding.  You have to convince your brain as well as your body that you are a milk maker. Studies have proven that if you think and act like a breastfeeder, it will help lactation.

So you will find that from this point on, my language will tend to reflect what my breasts are going to be used for, milk making.  They won’t be breasts in my mind, they will be milk jugs, milk machines, milk makers, udders, teats or similar.

I work well with humiliation, shame and the thought of being a filthy slut for my husband, which is completely opposite to my vanilla life, so I always try to focus on that as well.  I am terrified of getting caught in public by someone I know. I don’t want to get arrested either I might add !

Remember above I mentioned we want the bonding closeness from this as well as the erotic side?  Well, we have decided to get the best possible outcome, I would be most mentally excited by having my tits treated as milk machines only. We are going to take away our bonding/love side of milk production, and focus solely on me becoming a milkmaid.

I am to become tits and holes for his pleasure only for now. We have agreed that apart from our personal hard limits, I am to do as He says and He will push my boundaries as much as He can. I am to make any hole available, at any time, for any use. I am not to deny Him anything that is within my normal boundaries or soft limits.

I have also decided not to masturbate myself during alone time, I feel that will keep it as being sexual, and will not help my mindset of being a milker.

Once my milk is well established, we can alternate between role playing, and being husband and wife who share nursing together. That will be a nice life to have!

RULES:

He has set the following rules which I must follow.  I am so proud of Him for being so serious about it. He sat down and wrote these out for me:

1. Topless at all times where practical (exceptions for cold weather etc)
2. No bra to be worn unless absolutely necessary (eg exercise/work)
3. If bra is necessary, only maternity bras allowed
4. Nursing pads must be inserted when wearing maternity bra.
5. If maternity bra is worn, I must drop the cup every hour and let the nipple out for 1 min each side with gentle finger stimulation
6. Double electric Breastpump to be used minimum 10mins per-side, every 2 hours when at home.
7. If at work, single manual handpump to be used 5min per side, as frequent as possible (eg, morning tea, lunch, toilet breaks)
8. Tits and holes to be available at His request anytime.
9. Fenugreek capsules to be taken as per recommendations (to increase milk supply)
10. This list is to be displayed visibly at home or carried with me when not at home.

Wow, I was a bit concerned when I read this, but it’s actually not all that hard to follow.  Easy to do on the days I work at home.  Just trickier on the days I work on sites.

PREPARATION:

We had a chat about the possible chafing/soreness of so much nipple stimulation from the pump being used so much without prep.  As I already had a single manual pump at home (from one other time I toyed with the idea of lactation), we decided to start with 5 min manual pumping each side, every 2-3 hrs for the first few days to give everything a chance to get moving slowly.  Adding in lubrication to the nipple also would help.  After all, it’s no fun if the tit toys are broken L

I went shopping and brought fenugreek powder, making it up into my own capsules. Taking 3 times per day, but reduced dosage to start (can cause upset belly)

I brought a maternity bra.  My instructions were to buy a non-sexy version.  Something utilitarian.  Something to remind me my udders are only for milk from now on, not for looking nice. I found one that was pink….not my colour at all, but it seems to fit best of the limited choice they had.  I am already wondering if I will have to buy a larger one in future?  Hard to imagine my jugs getting bigger actually.

I brought nursing pads for the bra (for nipple leaks).  Again just now I have to think like they already leak.  Felt shame at the shops.

I ordered an electric double pump, oh my god, I seriously didn’t think I would ever be doing this for real…..

I think I am ready.

DAYS 1 – 7:

We treated the first couple of days as a warm up, getting used to the manual pump, testing the fenugreek powder etc. So here are some things I noted…..

Day 1, Sunday at home

• Pumped for 5 mins each side with manual pump. 3 hrly intervals.
• Nipples were fine. Hand was sore from pumping ! (Looking forward to electric one arriving next few days)
• No noticeable changes in udders.
• Fenugreek fine, no trouble in small doses
• Hard to keep arousal under control during day
• He suckled in early evening when he got home, and again in bed that night.
• I lay on my side to sleep, he spooned behind me, reached over and played with nipples for long time.
• High level of sexual tension, but no sexual activities at all, focusing on milk machines only.

Day 2, Monday at home

• Pumped for 5 mins each side with manual pump. 3 hrly intervals.
• Nipples were fine. Hand still sore but not as bad (I must be a sook!)
• No noticeable changes in milk bags
• Fenugreek fine, no trouble in small doses
• Hard to keep arousal under control during day, need panty liners to absorb cunt juice
• He suckled in early evening when he got home, and again in bed that night.
• Toyed with my nipples as he lay behind me to sleep but no sexual activities at all, focusing on milk machines only.

Day 3, Tuesday at home

• Pumped 5 mins each side, every 3 hrs
• Nipples fine. Slightly pink/red after pumping, returns to normal afterwards (pump arriving Thur!)
• Nipples becoming erect more often, jutting out unexpectedly.
• Nipples slightly more sensitive, brushing arm against them tickles more.
• Milk bags feel like they are protruding (but aren’t really, it’s just a sensation)
• Fenugreek fine, no trouble in small doses
• He gave me a milk jug massage for about 2 hrs, absolutely delightful and erotic.
• He spooned behind me to sleep again, however lifted my top leg, penetrated my cunt hole from behind, dumped a load inside me, kissed me goodnight and slept as his seed dribbled out of me all night.

Day 4, Wednesday at home half day/shopping half day

• Increased pumping to 10 mins each side, every 2 hrs (increase in time and frequency from today)
• Nipples fine, definitely more erect more often. They feel a little “waxier” and “rubbery” to touch today.
• Nipples more sensitive, very slight tingling feeling more often.
• Tiny increase in nipple size, seems to be more in their width, and a tiny change in length when erect.
• Was at the shops for 2 of my pumping times, so took manual pump with me. Parked in underground carpark (bit darker than above ground). Left shops at scheduled times, returned to car, sat in car and pumped 5 mins each side. So embarrassed, was sure someone would notice, but not one person walked past.
• Udders feel like they are sticking out from my chest (more of a sensation than actual protrusion)
• Udders feel as though they are trying to grow (like a balloon is inside them being blown up)
• Wore a bra for first time in 4 days, very strange feeling now. Udders felt wobbly and jiggly as I walked, even though they were confined.
• Confining udders causes nipples to rub on bra material increasing sensation
• Cannot keep my hands off my milk jugs. I am forever playing, pulling, tickling them.  I am getting nothing done at home !
• Very slight tenderness in milk jugs but not all the time and not very noticeable as yet.
• He suckled me on the couch when He got home for about 10 mins each side.
• Forced me to suck His cock on lounge after He suckled my milk jugs. He did not ejaculate, said I did not deserve it yet.
• He gave me a breast massage in bed approx. 1 hr, just amazing and erotic.
• He slapped my tits a while. He likes to pull them out by the nipple, and slap the tender underside.
• I asked him to punch my milk bags gently. I stood up beside the bed bent forward so they hung down, and he used them like a speedball punching bag.  Not hard, just gently.  Turned me on big time as I have always wanted to try that. Saw it on the internet of course.
• He again spooned behind me for sex, lifting my leg and loading me with his seed. Went to sleep with his cock in me. He knows that I am not keen on having him come inside me, so He is using this to His advantage. Makes me feel dirty and filthy, which I guess is the whole point…..

 

• BIGGEST CHANGE SO FAR: He can feel my udders becoming more “lumpy” inside, he described it as like caviar, or tiny beads in clusters inside the flesh. I noticed that today also, it is very obvious today when you push into the flesh, you can feel them.  I hadn’t said anything to Him beforehand, so it was great that He noticed it as well as me. I also hadn’t explained how milk ducts grow, so He didn’t know that either.  This is making me a little more confident things are underway.  I get butterflies in my tits and belly thinking about it!

 

• MY FEELINGS: Excited that tits seem to be changing a little internally. Nipples appear bigger and more prominent when erect, but no obvious change when flat which is frustrating.  I am impatient so I can’t expect too much too soon.

 

Day 5, Thursday at home

• Pumping 10 mins per side, every 2 hrs.
• Electric pump arrived in time for 2^nd session, yeehaa ! (see notes below)
• Nipples today felt a slight burn/heat feeling. It feels like they are trying to grow outwards and push themselves out.
• Nipples look same size as yesterday when erect. (just that little bit wider than when I started out)
• No real colour change yet (was hoping to see nipple/aereola darken a bit but not yet obviously) Still look same when flat.
• Very slight tenderness in udders, mainly when I massage or push into them a little, mostly towards outside edge.

 

• NEW PUMP: Oh my goodness, this is just the most amazing thing. I put it together, settled into the armchair.  I unbuttoned my shirt (is winter here, allowed to wear shirt), and exposed each milk bag. I pulled on the teats, making them erect. I position the pump flange over my teats, turned it on to the massage mode (for let-down reflex) and let it run.  Ensure teat is centered in middle. Geez it was fantastic.  Tricky though to get to pumps into position and try to turn it on and change suction, but I got it sorted.  Ran the massage for 1 min, then switched to suction mode to draw out the nipple and milk it.  Ran it for 10 mins, tried different suction levels and cycle speeds. Looking back now, maybe should have tried a lower suction, might have been a tiny bit too much but hey, that’s my excitement at getting started. What did it feel like?  It felt like to mouths working my nipples, I closed my eyes and imagined two men drawing my milk from me….very erotic. It’s a combination of having someone vibrating the end of your teat as they suck.

 

• I also tried bending over and being milked like a cow with the machine. Damn that was sexual to feel.  The suction would have to be cranked up to keep them in place, but I didn’t want to do damage first time round.  I bent forward, held the pumps on my udders and spread my legs, as though ready for Him to slip His cock into me from behind.  It was driving my mind crazy.

• Ran the massage for 1 more min at the end. Can’t wait for the next session…..
• Disappointed so far today, my milk bags don’t look any different, I convinced myself they were getting smaller and flatter (seriously?). A bit sad this afternoon.

• He was so excited when he got home, made me wear the pump in front of Him, I was a bit embarrassed at having to sit there and be pumped. It was weird like I was cheating by having them pulled by someone other than Him.

• Went to bed, He suckled me a while. He forced me to suck His cock, and violently thrust Himself down my throat, pushing His seed to the back of my throat and holding my head until I swallowed.  I don’t like swallowing so I struggled with this as soon as I realised I was going to get a mouthful. I honestly had no choice, I would have gagged and coughed and threw up if I didn’t swallow.

• He moved to the bottom of the bed, and sat between my legs, facing me. He pulled my flaps apart, and held them there, inspecting my hole.  The cool air was strange to feel on my clit and inner lips.  He told me to cover my face and wait until He returned as He wanted to get something from the kitchen.  He returned, opened my lips again, and started inserting something into me.  It was freezing cold and heavy to feel sliding in me. I found out afterwards it was a piece of marble (from my mortar and pestle). He pulled it out after a short time, and inserted something warmer but longer. This turned out to be a brand new vibrator we have had for a while but not opened.  He withdrew it after a short while also, and started pushing something wide into me.  He arranged my cunt lips as he worked it in to me, but I couldn’t get it all the way.  Turns out it was a small bottle from the kitchen. The shape was just like the old glass milk bottles we used to get, but a little bit shorter.  A wide mouth/neck going down into a larger bottle shape.  I suspect I am going to be given the bottle again until I learn to take it all. I felt absolutely humiliated. Firstly humiliation from having my hole inspected so closely. Secondly from having everyday kitchen implements inserted into me. He is doing a very good job of using me and making me feel this way (hmm, which is exactly how I want to feel). Slut, dirty, filthy wife who can’t get enough of her udders being pulled and holes being penetrated.

MY FEELINGS: Disappointed about udder size not really noticeably changing (my own impatience showing). Enjoying being forced to fuck and swallow whether I like it or not. Feel every day that I am becoming more cow like. Sitting on couch, holding cups against udders, being pulled and manipulated by a machine. Just like cows.  Used for milk production and nothing else. Vibration and tugging feeling the machine gives my nipples washes over me about every 10-15 seconds.
Day 6, Friday, home mostly, short shopping trip for groceries in morning

• Pumping increased to 20 mins, every 1.5-2hrs. 5 min of pump in let-down mode, 15 min in suction mode.
• Nipples fine, still look same when flat, however when erect they are very hard, and each one has become more roundish and dome shaped, capping off the end of my teat nicely.
• Nipples feeling different – they are not painful or sore, it’s more like they are super sensitive and the feeling is from deep down in the nipple (as opposed to a surface being touched gently)
• Fenugreek increased to 5grams per day…I was only taking approx. 2g per day, which is ok to start with, but a bit lower than recommended.
• No noticeably changes in udder bags, still feel like beads inside, still small amount of occasional tenderness when pushing or squeezing.
• Had to do groceries today, asked Him if I could wear my sports bra, He said no. Must wear maternity bra. I am not liking this bra, there is no underwire and for saggy milk bags like mine, they need support. This bra seems to just flatten them against my chest, it doesn’t really cup each jug. He told me that to prove I had it on, I had to show the bra being worn in a photo, in the carpark of the shops.  I did it and text it to him.  He then made me take two more photos.  Next photo was with one side of bra undone and milk bag hanging while other stayed covered (for some reason, having one out felt much more lewd than exposing both).  Last photo was with both udders hanging out of bra.  All sent via text to Him to prove my worthiness of His time and for bothering Him. Thank goodness no one saw me, I would have been shamed so much.

MY FEELINGS: Stronger feelings than I expected towards being a milk maid/hucow.  Loving it.  Constantly stimulating nipples myself (to increase prolactin hormones), pulling and tugging them gently every chance I get.  Like it when He walks past, orders me to lift my shirt and hold my teats out for Him to tug the nipples before He walks away smirking. Last two days when He suckles it feels as though I am being suckled deeply from within the middle of my udder bag.

Day 7, Saturday at home

• He used my holes 4 times today, penetrating each one at least one, and a second time in my cunt hole.  He would slide into me, thrust a few times, and walk away.  Talk about frustrating.
• Nipples still slowly getting wider
• Nipples sensitive
• Fenugreek 5grams, belly ok
• Milk bags still about the same, no obvious change
• Pumping 10mins per side, every 2 hrs.
• Stimulating nipples by hand constantly
• Getting impatient, waiting for udders to change more

See you next week with more info…..